My Philosophy as a Counselor for Men

I understand “guy stuff.”  Your needs and issues as a man have to be solved uniquely. I believe that a lot of what gets men into trouble is due to “folklore” –the rigid and hierarchical rules of what a man “should be.” Ultimately, many men who try to adhere to this impossible stereotype eventually experience a crisis and don’t have coping skills to fall back on. This is often what brings men into counseling.

One of the biggest obstacles that men face is the issue of pride. Pride gets in the way of living an authentic life –a life based on what you really want vs. what you have been told you “should want.” The bottom line is, you can be as proud as you want, but it won’t help you deal with a “left hook.”

Dealing with the “punches” that life throws at us requires an honest and open approach to facing ourselves– our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Only then is it possible to create the kind of life we do want.

My belief is you have come to counseling not because there is something “wrong” with you, but because there is something “right” that is happening, right in the sense that your struggles are a signal that you need to make a change. Counseling provides the opportunity and support to help you make that change towards a better life.

Whatever happened to you in the past doesn’t have to control your life. However, it often takes some understanding of it before you can make adjustments to your current life. By doing this, you can accomplish a complete “do-over” and create the life that you really want.

My Counseling Approach with Men

My Counseling Style

My “guy-centered” approach to counseling men is simple and direct. This is strictly a “meat and potatoes” style of therapy designed uniquely for you and your needs. There’s no fluff, no filler, and no psychological mumbo-jumbo.

My way of working as a counselor with men reflects the lessons I’ve learned from being a client. I’m open and direct, but respectful. I understand that each of us needs to determine our own pace and make decisions based on what feels right for who we uniquely are at any given moment.

How We’ll Work Together in Therapy

We’ll begin our work together by looking at your current life and quickly get to what you really want. We’ll then look at what thoughts, feelings and behaviors are preventing you from achieving that. We’ll then tackle those problems head-on. I’ll help you get a deeper sense of your own personal integrity, your own “code of honor,” and then help you use that as a reference point of how you want your life to be.

We’ll Approach Your Challenges in 3 ways:

  1. Cognitive – We’ll start by figuring out what you think and why you think the way you do. This really gets down into the root of your belief system.  Is your belief system really yours?  Or does it belong to someone else? Do you want to keep it or toss it out?
  2. Body Awareness – Here is where we figure out how your belief system is organized in your body.  In other words, what’s going on with your body language? How are you presenting yourself physically to the world, and what impact is that having on others? Is this serving you, or not?
  3. Mindfulness Focus – What are you focusing on day-to-day? What is it that fills your thoughts? What do you worry about? What dreams do you have for yourself? Managing your attention is hugely important to creating a fulfilling life.

The Final Outcome…

The final outcome will be that you get to create the life you want. You get to be who you want to be.

My goal is to empower you beyond the “golden therapy hour.”  I’ll help you develop the “mental muscle” to improve your work, your relationships with friends and family and to feel good about your future.

Ultimately, my job as a counselor is to put myself out of a job. I’ll help you absorb the things I’ve learned so you don’t need my help anymore. You can then take the skills you have acquired in our work together and use them to your full advantage in creating a meaningful life.

By being strong inside of yourself you become strong in the world… And when that happens, no one can ever take that from you.

Are You a Good Match For My Counseling Services?

I’ve worked with all types of men– everything from gruff, “take charge” guys, to quiet, shy guys and every type in-between.

But if you ask me to name the best clients I’ve ever worked with they would be  – men who are committed to identifying what they want out of life – and are willing to work together with me to achieve that goal.

Commitment and patience, combined with the willingness to grow and learn…  These are the keys to changing your life.

Privacy Policy

For therapy to be effective, it is important for you to know that the information you disclose to me will be treated respectfully and confidentially. All information you disclose to me in your session is confidential, although this is subject to certain limitations prescribed by the law and applicable ethical codes. For example, the law may require disclosure to a third party when there is a reasonable suspicion of child or elder abuse, or a danger that you may hurt yourself or another person. Disclosure may be required pursuant to certain legal proceedings. Please feel free to ask me if you have any questions regarding the confidentiality of your sessions.

If you think we might be a good match for counseling, contact me now. I can be reached at:(860) 331-0641 or via email at: rjcaffrey@gmail.com.